Friday, March 09, 2007

'Ears To The Doc!

posted by John Blanco @ 9:31 PM


Yesterday, when I arrived at work, I had the oddest feeling going on in my ears. I felt like I was on an airplane, and I was trying to pop my ears. (Pop? Unpop?)

After about an hour, they felt popped, but then I had this overwhelming urge to get my hands on a Q-tip. Unable to get my hands on one during the work day, I suffered the whole day as if I had dirty, dirty ears. By the time I got home, I was so eager to clean my left ear (the right ear had soothed a bit) that I ran up the stairs to my bathroom to get that sweet, sweet relief. (The Q-tip!)

Well, the whole day of waiting was a let down. The Q-tips, they do nothing!! But Michele had a solution: a solution! "Peroxide in you ear, now!" she exclaimed. Now, normally the thought of lying on my side and having my dear wife poor liquid into my ear and telling me to sit still for 5 minutes...yeah, that wouldn't stand.

But I was desperate! So lie down I did.

The feeling was torturous. It's like that feeling you get when you get out of the pool and there is water on your ear drum. TIMES A MILLION! Amazingly, I sat still and merely squirmed the whole time.

After 5 minutes, I mercifully got the stuff out. But, things weren't right. I felt partially deaf. For the rest of the evening, I tried to leak dry...and figured overnight it would get better. But it didn't, and while I was at work this morning, I asked Michele to make a doctor's appointment for me.

My ear improved a bit over the day, but I wanted to make sure all was going to be OK, so at 3:10 I was at the doctor. He examined my ears and told me the news. "You're ears are dirty."

Well, so maybe my cold from last week caused it. Anyway, they had to "clean my ears" and let me tell you something: pray you never hear the words. :-/

Let me describe an ear cleaning. First, they put a "detergent" in your ears and let it sit for 5 minutes. This was actually quite pleasant. The solution was cold, and soothing. I actually liked it. Maybe I can buy some at a store, eh?

Then, the nurse actually comes back in. (Yes, the nurse did the work...the doctor's job was easy I say!) She rinses out the solution a bit and then takes out a tool that I can only describe as A DEVICE FROM HELL. It looks like an ear scope, thing thing they use to look inside your ear, except with one modification: a hook scraper.

Yes, she scraped shards of wax (I know, it's gross, but grow up...) from my ear with a few strokes, and it hurt like holy hell. She did this in both ears.

For the left ear, though, the scraping was not enough. It had to be rinsed. She pulls out what is essentially a water gun. Whilst I held a bucket under my ear, she sprayed. The first moment is glorious. Warm, luscious water pulsating in my ear, like a lovely enema.

After the moment was over, it was holy hell again. The water butting up against my ear drum, and yet I can't pull away. It was not a comfortable feeling. Yet, it was better than the Peroxide the night before. :-)

My ears feel better now, though they still ache slightly from all they have gone through...Q-tip attacks, Peroxide bathings, detergents, ice picks, and squirting. They need a day to rest. Whewwww...


In other news, I finished Phoenix Wright 2. This means I have many, many months of waiting around for Phoenix Wright 3 -- stuck in depression -- so I can play more of this glorious series. DAMN YOU CAPCOM FINISH IT NOW!!!!

In the meantime, I'm forced to entertain myself by playing on my computer, going to Dave and Buster's, and having a baby in a week. Hopefully these things will pass the time quickly so I can once again enjoy Maya, Phoenix, Miles, and the other fun characters in...OH MY GOD CEDRIC IN ONE WEEK!!!!!!!

I just can't wait!!!! :-) Remember, stay tuned for LIVEBLOGGING!


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