Single, White Male Looking for **Hot** Female

- Chris (on right) and Bella -

Chris Calabro is one of my best friends, and he lives in New York. We went to high school together and became close friends when we spent 3 of those years together in "Tech Elec," our high school major. Add a few other classes in the day, and you're talking Chris and I sitting together (Blanco, Calabro, ..see?) for about 2/3 of a day, every day.

Insanity set in during our Senior year in '94. :-)

But, friends, that's not why I write this blog. I write it because Chris needs our help. He's starting to crack in the very home he lived in while we were in high school, on Fox Avenue. Our teacher, Mr. Yacoub, once made fun of Chris for living there saying:

"Momma V-shape," he would remind Chris.

Whether Chris's mom is V-shaped is debatable, but the key here is that Chris is crying out. You see, the picture above is Chris's Christmas card. While it brought great tears of laughter to the Yog and I, we also recognized the cry for help.

Chris is pleading to be adopted. So, ladies, especially you single gals out there, listen up, it's time for his stats:

Chris is 6'4", dark hair, dark eyes, and terribly handsome. He enjoys the Beatles, and good old classic rock. When not listening to this sweet, sweet music, he enjoys long walks on the beach at night, romantic dinners by candlelight, and discussing his emotions and feelings with women.

Among his other interests is hang-gliding, which he enjoys most with a companion. The feel of the breeze through your hair as you soar 1,400 feet in the air is quite pleasurable and an experience not to be forgotten. In fact, Chris is all about experiences not to be forgotten. He once surprised a lucky lady with a bouquet of roses while standing with her at the top of the Statue of Liberty.

One Valentine's Day, he was driving down Central Ave. when he saw a poor, old lady walking with her cane. It was freezing cold on this day, with 12 inches of snow on the ground, and the poor lady was so cold and alone. Chris pulls up to this lady, steps out of the car, and offers to assist her with a ride.

She accepted.

But Chris didn't take her straight home. Oh, no, ladies! He surpised her by taking her to a posh Manhattan restaurant, Tavern on the Green, and treated her to lobster tails, a NY strip steak, and topped it off with a Strawberry Margarita.


Afterwards, Chris took her on a long horse-and-buggy ride through Central Park. While they stayed nice and toasty under the blankets (wink, wink), they watched the serene scene of the beautiful park roll by.

The old lady had such an enjoyable time that she treated Chris to a makeout that lasted all-l-l-l-l night long.

The moral of this story is that Chris's heart went out to this lonely, old lady, and he gave her a night she'd always remember. She died some years later, but in her Will she thanked Chris for his gracious hospitality and wonderful "endowment."

Chris is a dashing fellow, and this Christmas, won't you be his Miss Claus?