The Reflecting John

Today is a day of reflection for me...the chance for a new beginning. You see, this year I'm taking very seriously the matter of New Year's Resolutions. I need some changes in my life, a direction, a purpose, and with 2005 set up to be a big year for the Yog and I, now's the time.

So as I reflect today on what it is that 2005 will mean to me, I list out for you the areas of my life that need to be addressed:

*** Career ***

I've been a software developer for over 7 years now. In that time, I've gone from Junior Developer to Senior Developer, an excellent jump. But now. it comes time to make that extra leap. To reconfirm my love and devotion to this trade. To become the true developer.

At the end of my time at CorAccess, I had a 100% helping of burnout. I had no love for my industry, and I felt trapped because it's the only thing I knew as a career. I found myself wondering what my identity was. I had no passion for the trade, but having just bought a new home, there was no chance for change.

In the months that followed, I had to dig myself out. I only worked the time I needed to at Taliant and tried to clear my head by endeavoring in anthing-but-computers when I got home. Over time the burnout cleared up, but what followed was a directionless idea of what I wanted to do.

That will end in 2005.

My aim is to define my career direction, including the aspects I need to improve on, the areas I want to focus on, and how to get that done. The prime area I will address is software design. This includes design decisions, design patterns, and becoming a better and smarter software developer. I will improve my skills by building a new foundation, and abandoning all of the old habits which remain in my work.

By the end of 2005, I want to be a clean, crisply coding developer with clear ideas on how to assemble architecture and my work. I want to be effecient and able to tackle larger, more difficult projects with more ease and confidence.

*** Finance ***

The last few years have been a financial challenge. I found myself in some debt after a breakup and then followed that up with being laid off. I had a heap of credit card debt, which became debt to my sister...which is now long paid off.

From there, Michele and I bought a house. :-) Follow that up with a year of improvements and renovations, and you end up skewering yourself. Michele also had some credit card debt and it really all adds up.

It's not terrible right now, though this month is because we have to make a lump payment for our French Doors and new windows. But, we'll dig out. We have a budget and a plan to payoff the rest of the unsecured debt in time.

The real issue now is how we'll handle the yet-to-be-created, but soon-to-be-presented addition to our little family. :-) Michele will be a stay-at-home mom and so we're going to have to find a way to add a little income to our monthly gross. We're not sure who's going to do it. Perhaps the next section will help address it, but it can't be relied on.

Whatever the decision is, we need to work on it early 2005. So we need an idea of what to look at. It could come in the form of art with Michele, or a personal software business with me.

We need to figure it out.

*** Leisure and Hobby ***

If you roll back in the archives of this blog, you'll see a heavy emphasis on tournament chess. For almost 2 years, I was a serious chess player. I studied almost every day, sometimes for hours. When tournaments approached, I'd study almost constantly, even during down-time at work. I loved the game and I loved to improve in it.

After my tournament last Septemeber, I felt the burn. I'd studied so hard, improved so much, and entered a tournament I was optimistic to win. I finished 3rd. An exciting finish, but a dissapointment nonetheless. It was then that I looked at all the time I'd put in, all the work, amd what did I get? A $75 profit. If that.

I decided that if I was going to invest this much time and energy into a leisure activity, I needed to gain a little more from it. Preferably, financial happiness and a career dream.

I went to B & N and got hooked on a little book on J2ME. This led to me writing a pair of cell phone games. I was hooked!!! I started the Bite Size Studios venture and while that flunked, it wasn't due to my lack of energy. I'm working on Counterpart now, and I have plans for more later. It's exciting!

But, for 2005, I need a distinct plan. What games will I write? What platforms will I address, J2ME or branch out? What genres do I want to address?

Another interesting initiative is that I need to *play* more games. If I'm going to be doing game programming professionally, ideally, I need to play more...see what's out there...get ideas. I need to play more!

I need to learn techniques in AI, game physics, possibly even 3D! One genre I'm starting to like is RPG, do I want to do a project in that? Do I want to even think about DirectX? Do I want to stick to Java, or more specifically, cell hpone games in J2ME? Do I want to grow with that industry?

A decision must be made for 2005.

*** Faith and Charity ***

In 2004, I branched out in some areas I've never dabbled with before. Namely, politics. This Christmas season now, I've started reading in a new area, religion.

For 2005, I'd like to get a better understanding of the world's religions and form a better opinion of what I believe rather than "I just believe in being a good person."

Do I believe in God or not? I'd like to know. I need to learn some more.

Another unrelated issue concerns charity. I've prided myself on being a "good" person, but I'm not sure that means what it used to. I don't give to any charities, I don't do any volunteer work, and I no longer find that it satisfies me enough to be a kind person to all people. I need to do more.

In 2005, I'd like to become more charitable. Money will be tight, so this doesn't mean I will go crazy donating to charities all over the place. This doesn't prove "charitability" anyway. I mean, if a regular person donates...that IS charitable. But, if, say, John Elway donates, that doesn't really make him a better person. For the rich, it's a tax break...and it's not really a sacrifice.

Since money is tight for us this year, I'd like to "donate" on other ways. Namely with my time. My goal for 2005 is to find an organization I believe in and donate some of my time. Preferably, donating in a way that accentuates my talent. Perhaps even with computers....but, something that I can do to help people or a large group of people in some way.

I'll take it slow, as I want to accomplish this task, so I won't set the bar too high. But I'll start looking to see what I can do when the new year comes.

*** Accomplishments in General ***

Well, these are the things I need to think about. But, what will I get done. Some of these are related to the above, some aren't. But, I hope to accomplish every single one this upcoming year (in absolutely no order!):

• Become a dad. :-)
  
• Complete 2 years of service at a job...namely, Taliant. This will be the first time I worked at one company for this long!
  
• Complete Counterpart.
  
• Complete at least one other full-length game.
  
• Find a second source of income which won't seriously strain the family.
  
• Solve Zelda: Windwaker.
  
• Read "Head First Design Patterns"
  
• Road Trip to NY in May!
  
• Have a healthy savings account by the end of the year.
  
• Read at least one OOAD book (Booch or Jacobsen)
  
• Wipe out debt on Citibank, VW, and cut Chase in half.
  
• Stay in the 180's in terms of weight.
  

I'll post my official resolutions by Friday. This is me thinking out loud and naming off some accomplishments to give me a better idea of my definitive post. I welcome feedback on this one.