Hillary is Clearly the People's Choice

This whole Barack Obama thing is crazy. Hillary clearly deserves to be the candidate.

First, she won the popular vote. Yes, you have to count Florida, which all the Democratic candidates agreed not to count because they broke DNC rules. AND you have to count Michigan, even though Barack's name didn't even appear on the ballot. What? His name wasn't on the ballot so I'm assuming a vote count of ZERO? That's his problem. Seems fair to me!

Second, only black people like Barack. He has a clear advantage being black. All black candidates do really well. Obviously, most Americans are black. Hillary being white is a clear disadvantage.

Third, Hillary wins the important states. Wisconsin? Fuck Wisconsin. Hillary won California, which Obama obviously would never dream of doing in November. Yeah, yeah, I know Obama won in Texas, but please, we have no chance in Texas anyways. And it's not really that big. You see, it doesn't matter he's won over twice as many states. Hillary won New York, a Republican-leaning state with no black people.

Fourth, Barack has to outspend Hillary. Let's see what he could do on her budget. Everyone knows money doesn't win elections. Having less money is a clear sign the people support you, because it's a jinx to have money.

And anyway, Hillary has more super delegates, too, right? What? Oh, I guess not. But, it's just black congresspeople voting for Barack. Not the important ones, right? What...John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, John Edwards, Chrid Dodd? They're not REAL Democrats like me.

Poor Barack, Oregon will be a laugher. The guy goes to Oregon with his minority of supporters and what, draws only 65,000 80,000 people? I mean, come on, there are millions of people in Oregon, and only 65,000 80,000 show?

And most of those people were Hillary supporters who just got confused. They obviously thought it was she who was going to be there. Besides, have you ever seen so many black people?

Obama supporters are sore losers. They aren't even American. If Hillary had won the nomination, all those Democrats woulda have shamefully voted for her. How pathetic to vote their values! Us Hillary supporters will vote for McCain, because we are loyal!

Remember, it's the media's fault. If only they would have covered this Jeremiah Wright guy. They kept it under wraps. I assure you.

Vote Hillary. Hillary 08!

UPDATE: Hillary agrees. Big crowds are no big deal.

She said Monday that she is the "more progressive candidate" and dismissed the hype surrounding Obama that results in the large crowds like the record rally of an estimated 65,000 80,000 he drew in Portland on Sunday afternoon.

Clinton said Obama, who has refused to debate her since they last faced off just before the Pennsylvania primary last month, would "rather just talk to giant crowds than have questions asked."

Later, while speaking to several hundred people in a high school gymnasium, Clinton picked up her campaign's argument that Obama's victories in states that had caucuses instead of primaries are somehow less significant because turnout was lower.

Have you seen a high school gym? It's hard to cram so many people in there, but Hillary crammed 300 304!